You never know how much you love somebody till they're gone. One minute they're there and the next they're gone. YOu eventually get used to it. Noone ever stays for too long. All my life I've never really fit in. I mean, I've had friends. But noones ever really been there.
Chapter One
Another rainy day,what else is new. It's perfectly fine with me, in fact I perfer the rain to sunny day, it calms you. There's something about the rain that soothes me. It's like a shower, with you're clothes on.
My name is Logan Anne Martin, I am 16 years old, I attend Southern High School in Salem, Oregon, the worst place on Earth. I have a few friends but not really, not that I can't make friends people like me.I'm just not really a people person. Naturally, I could care less what they think.
It's Mid-October, I don't know the date, but it's Friday. I'm walking down the deserted street I live on, Willow Street, only 2 other people that live on this road and I don't even know if they really count because it's my grandparents and my aunt and uncle. So they're family, the only people that can stand my non-talking self when i am in those kind of moods.
Naturally, I have black hair, but unusally my eyes are blue. That's why everyone never accepted me, you either have blonde hair and blue eyes or black hair and brown eyes. Never black hair and blue eyes.
My mom, she's says im special. And I am, unlike me, my twin sister Elizabeth Marie Martin,has blonde hair and blue eyes the perfect child. She's the captain of the Southern High School Varsity cheerleading squad and the captain of the Southern High School lady eagles jv basketball and volleyball team. Little Miss Perfect as I call her, naturally, we can't stand eachother and who would blame me, she's total bitch.
Chapter Two
I wake up at two o'clock in the morning because I had to go to the bathroom I don't even know if you would call what I was doing sleeping because I barely unconscious. I had that horrible night on my mind.
I have to go through my sisters room to get to the bethroom and here's a shocker she's not there but her window is wide open so she can get back in.
I contemplate shutting it but then she would just start knocking on my window, scaring the hell outta me till I let her in. I go back to sleep or whatever you would call how I kinda sleep.
"John, no please don't!"
"Don't what?"
"Leave" i start crying, more like hyperventilating
"Too late im already gone."
"Why"
"Because, I don't love you anymore"
"Why?"
"Things change Logan, and I just don't feel the same way about you as I used to. And, don't get me wrong, I seriously did love you. And it kinda upsets me that I hurt..."
"You never hurt me"
"Then what do you call what im doing right now? Are you just crying for the hell of it?"
"So I'm supposed to be crying because im pain. that's what happens when someone you love leaves you.You cry"
"Exactly, and I can't stand to hurt you anymore than I already have."
"But feelings don't change over night, we were together for areason, we were perfect together"
"Exactly we were, and you're right they don't just change over night, I don't when I started feeling like this. But the point is I did, now bye before I hurt you anymore than i already have." He kisses me on my forehead says, "Im sorry Logan"
There's a big hole in my stomach a whole that till this day hasn't been healed.
I wake up screaming, it's unreal how real that dream still is, now it's making me think about what happened after that, I start crying, through my blurred eyes i look at the alarm clock it's 4:55 exactly 3 months after that phone call.
Chapter Three
Three Months Earlier:
The phone is ringing im tempted to just ignore it, but something tells me to pick up the phone.IT turns out it would be best that if I totally just didn't answer the phone at all or would it have, i really dont know. I guess that is a question better left unknown and it might just save everyone the hurt.
Sleeply and grougily"Hello"
"Hey is this Logan?"
"Yes it is and may I ask who this is?"
"This is Marie, John's mother"
"OH well, what's a matter, wait, where's John?"
"That's the problem hun, John, well, John isn't with us anymore."
"Wait, what do you mean he's not with us anymore"
"I mean that he is dead, I heard gunshot i went up to see and I found John laying on the bed with note in his handtht said to call you and tell her that it was nothing to do with you and that you should just go on"
"Go on with what he was my life, im coming ove rbe ther in a few"
